Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Harold P. Salzman. I’m not much for the internet—you can burn your stash of magazines, but a search history is forever.

I’m from Brooklyn, New York, I’m a used car salesman and a stripper on the weekends (visit my club, Gramps n’ Tramps, for a wilder ride than you’d get in any car I could sell you.) 

I guess you could say I was born to be a star. Quit is not in my vocabular, hell, I’ve been smoking since I was in utero, (maybe the only thing my mother passed down to me.) I excelled at athletics in school, I was on the varsity tag team, I was an All American “it” for two non-consecutive years. I married well, but make no mistake, I’m a self-made man. I built my empire on shrewd cutting edge moves in my divorce hearings. 

Now I’ve more or less settled down into a quiet life with a revolving door of street women (no, not Wall Street…) 

I’m a lot of fun at parties, an Icarus quality wingman, and mix drinks so good you’ll never remember what they tasted like. Give me a call either at my 900 number or (yourfriendamelia@gmail.com)